Husbands: Loving is Leading
Ehpesians 5:25-28 “Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor—since they’re already “one” in marriage.” The Message (MSG)
Many start with the “wives submit to the husband as unto Christ” passage and use it to guilt women into blindly following a wimp of a man. I choose to start this post with the husband because I firmly believe that the passages in Ephesians 5 are so misunderstood and abused. I have found it to be that when a husband is loving a wife like Christ loved the Church you will find a wife who is “submitting” to her husband without regret or problem.
I once had a pre-marriage coaching client tell me that “he loved his wife, but he wasn’t ready to give up his life for her”. I responded if that was truly how he felt then he was not ready for marriage and should consider another option. Relationship peace requires both parties involved to “have a love marked by giving, not getting”. Just as Christ’s love make us whole, the love of a husband makes a wife and a family whole. Show me a home with a strong loving father, and I will show you relationship peace.
Words are very important. “His words evoke her beauty” How do the words you use with your spouse evoke beauty? If you are constantly demeaning your spouse, you can’t expect respect coming back to you in return. Think before you speak…especially when you are angry. That one bit of advice can save a relationship.
I have often heard remarks implying that the bible says a husband should be a dictator over the entire family. This is simply untrue. The bible does give the role of leadership of the home to the husband, but this doesn’t mean to have a domineering relationship with your wife and/or kids. Husbands, if you want to lead your wife effectively (which means you want them to follow) you must first love them. Look at those in leadership positions in your workplace. Don’t you have some folks at work whom you really want to please and submit to, and others whom you dislike taking orders from? What is the real reason you like the one and dislike the other? It is because the one person treats you with respect and cares about you that makes you want to please them.
What type of husband are you being to your wife, one that barks out orders without love and respect, or one who truly loves and cherishes his wife and lovingly leads? What type of husband do you really want to be? After all, if you are the leader, it is your choice.
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